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A: I agree thats weird. It would be one thing if Miss Diane wanted to earn more money babysitting and explained to parents she was available on weekends. But this suggested outing leaves me uneasy. You simply tell Miss Diane that youve got plans for the weekend, thanks. I hope there is an adult somewhere managing this day care operation. You should go to this person and tell about Dianes request, that you think its not appropriate, and that the supervisor and Diane need to have a talk.

Q. Grieving friend: Just over two years ago, close friends dating back to college days lost a child suddenly. They have been devastated, as have we, his godparents. We know that grieving and mourning take many forms, and in this case, the mother has decided to cut my husband and me out of her life. Im not sure why except that we celebrated many holidays and milestones at our home, and perhaps those memories are too painful for her to revisit. Her sister said she may never be able to return to our house. Nearly all efforts to meet with her for lunch or coffee have been rebuffed with a few exceptions involving group events to memorialize her son. Invitations have been via email and responses are simply "Im busy" with no mention of an alternate date. She has maintained some contact with our two adult children, especially one of them who provides her with an expensive service at no cost. He is increasingly uncomfortable with his parents being systematically ignored. Having been pushed away so many times these past two years, I need advice. This comes across as anger toward me. Should I ask what I have done and offer an apology? Should I continue to make occasional overtures? Or should I accept the fact, as my husband suggests, that she may no longer want us in her life? Im at the end of my rope, yet I dont want to give up on someone who has been a friend for so many years.

A: You understand the agony of your friends grief, but I agree that two years out her behavior toward you seems inexplicable. Except if from her perspective there is a reason, whether fair or not. It could be you unintentionally said one of those things that send grieving people around the bend. It could be she feels you didnt do enough. And yes, it could also just be that you represent the time when her beloved son was alive and she cant bear the sight of you anymore. It sounds as if you have a connection to her sister, so please use that. Tell the sister you understand your friends pain, and you wish you could provide solace to her, however she has without explanation cut you out of her life. Ask if the sister knows if theres something you did or didnt do as regards the death of your godson that has caused this breach. If there is no real reason, then write your friend a letter. Tell her how much you miss your godson and that you know his loss is something she must bear every day. Say that you miss her and the closeness you used to have, and youre hoping that she can let you back in her life. If she cant, then your husband is right and you just have to accept this. As for your grown children, they are adults and can make their own decisions about their relationship with your (former) friend. But it is not cruel for your child to explain to your friend that at a given point in the near future he or she is going to be unable to continue providing services.

Q. Boyfriends Kink Is Not My Thing: My boyfriend of three years and I decided to try new things in bed to spice things up. He told he had a fantasy and I went along with it even though I felt a bit weirded out about it. It was awful and left me feeling disgusted with myself. My boyfriend on the other hand was very happy with the experience and wants to do it again. How can I tell him its not going to happen? I dont want to make him feel judged or like he cant tell me things.

Emily Yoffe is a regular Slate contributor. She writes the Dear Prudence and Human Guinea Pig columns. You can send Dear Prudence questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. (Questions may be edited.) Subscribe to Emily Yoffes Facebook page.